Radio host wrong, kids with autism NOT brats!
I have heard it all before, in fact far too many times. Kids with autism are not brats! Kids with autism are not simply acting out!
And, to all those who would say that, I say: Walk a day in their shoes (or their parents’ shoes) and then tell us they can control what they do or say like everyone else.
No, in my opinion, the only people who should “cut out the act,” are people like radio host Michael Savage, who make unsubstantiated claims that 99 percent of kids with autism are misdiagnosed. Like far too many people in our society – people who have no idea whatsoever of what they are talking about — he is displaying a total lack of empathy and ignorance!
Children with an autism spectrum disorder are children who, through absolutely no fault of their own, were born with a disorder that would impact not only their own lives but those of everyone around them. And, while it is true that individuals with mild symptoms of autism are able to function creatively and normally in our society, those with a more severe form on the spectrum will likely never know what it is like to live a normal life.
In other words, those with a severe form will never know what it is like to graduate from college or university, never know what it is like to have a regular competitive job or career, never know what it is like to bring up a family, or never know what it is like to retire and travel in their leisure years.
That is not to say they cannot have a productive life. They can. My son is 43, married to a wonderful woman who has physical and developmental disabilities. They are companions. He takes care of her, doing the shopping, cooking and cleaning. He also volunteers at a local nursing home. But, he still misses all the normal milestones that other people experience. He is of average intelligence, so make no mistake about it, he knows what he is missing. We talk about it often, particularly now that he is in his early forties — at just the right time when all of us think about where our lives have been and where we want to go.
So, to suggest these individuals simply need “to cut out the act” is nothing short of cruel and abusive. While some are calling for Savage to be fired, I am not sure about that. It is the essence of free speech that people can make cruel and abusive statements. There are plenty of shock jocks that represent all manner of nonsense.
The bottom line is we simply don’t have to listen to them if we don’t like it. As a result, what I would recommend instead, is for listeners to boycott the radio station.
H/T a regular reader.
Maddy:
I’m glad to hear so many people expressing their opinions on this matter. [also glad to hear about your son]
July 22, 2008, 7:13 pmBest wishes
Anonymous:
You’ve missed the point - you are ’stuck’ on the hyperbole. Savage’s point was NOT against autism, it was against frivolous diagnosis, testing of ALL young children when the methodology isn’t exact and those unscrupulous medical & mental health professionals & drug companies usurping much needed $ that should be going to autistic children and their families. On the topic of autism, he’s had specialists, researchers and parents of autistic children on his show who have given a much needed voice to this. I’m sorry, did you listen to his show??
July 22, 2008, 8:35 pmSandy:
Anon — Why don’t you identify yourself? I don’t usually accept anonymous comments. So, if you want to reply I would ask you to give an identifiable name and e-mail address — not some anonymous e-mail either. Otherwise, no matter what you say, it will be deleted. My blog, my rules.
When someone calls autistic kids brats, sorry but that is NOT hyperbole. All parents of autistic kids have heard comments like that more often than they care to remember. They also know the guilt and the anger.
And, I have to say, unless you have experienced that grinding never ending 24/7 worry and stress, you simply don’t understand why it is wrong to lump 99% of kids who have been diagnosed with autism as brats who “are acting out.”
As well, I did not have to “listen” to his program to hear his quotes which were clearly outlined in the sourced link I provided.
And, franky, I really don’t care what he said or did on other occasions. The bottom line is that his assumptions need to be questioned.
Moreover, I could ask you if you have read anything of what I have written here? I too am against miracle cures and promises. See this post here.
Yet, even if parents do seek these cures, I can understand why. It is because they are desperate to find help for their child or children. But, it still doesn’t make their kids brats.
July 22, 2008, 9:18 pmMaryT:
It is very difficult for parents to send their child off to school knowing that he/she will never be invited for birthday parties, sleepovers, and so many other things. For some reason adults seem to think if they allow their kids to associate with a disabled child their child will get the same thing. Being mentally or physically disabled is not like measles or chickenpox, it is not contagious. Kids are more understanding and develop a bond with these “different” students. They ask questions, try to help, and are friends. I will never forget or forgive a teacher (now deceased) who asked us why we fought for custody of a deaf and dumb kid. He is deaf but certainly not dumb. Or the teacher who yelled at me in the school hallway and said, he comes to school so dirty no one will play with him. He was/is very allergic to many smells and so he didn’t come to school smelling lemon fresh clean. This is a kid that will not get his hands dirty, and will not wear anything with a spot on it, even water. They had to dry his shirt in the microwave once as he got a drop of water on it. Solved by sending a change of clothes to school. That teacher was not rehired for the next year after I went to the school board and dept of education and a few other places. Or the little boy and his mothers reaction. This boy come up to me and asked, is that your kid, yes I said, well he just gave me the finger. Shocked I asked what finger please show me exactly what he did. Turns out my g/son has signed, my name is J and you my friend. I explained he talked with his hands but to no avail. It was at the roller rink and within minutes the entire class was surrounding this boy and telling him to get lost. I approached his mother to explain what happened and her response, I told my son to ignore that stupid boy. How do the deaf get your attention, by touching. In grade 1 he wanted to show a girl something so he touched her on her shoulder, but just as he reached to touch she turned around and he touched her chest. She told her mother, she called the principal, he called me and we had a meeting. Mother wanted him charged with inappropriate touching and expelled. I laughed at her. Words were exchanged and I said I would sue if she tried to file charges. (2 lawyers in family) The mother was a social worker and I told her no wonder the system was broken if she was an example of how they looked at things. These are just a few of the insults and ignorance we parents go thru, but we grin and bear it. J has his own apt, with 24/7 caregivers. He is a valuable member of his community, and has lots of friends. Plates of cookies and cakes appear at his doorstep. Maybe someday they will invent an antistupid pill to give to teachers and some adults and parents. Savage was wrong to say what he said the way he said it. Anyone who has a child with a disability will tell you they are so full of love and bring much happiness to the family and all who have the privilege of knowing them. end of rant.
July 22, 2008, 10:14 pmSandi:
This man should be fired. Savage is a conservative radio talk show host who has a history of saying horrible things.\
I’d like to know why he thinks he knows so much about autism.
My girlfriend has an autistic son and I can tell you - he’s not a brat. He’s a sweetheart and tries so hard. Yes, he has his moments, but I think it’s frustration.
July 23, 2008, 8:45 amAnn:
Are autistic kids misdiagnosed? If it were me and I was offended by what shock talk Savage said I’d be writing to him directly for proof to back up what he said.
Secondly I think that the fact that there’s discrepancy between parents of autistic kids as to best treatments, programs, funding, identification etc. there’s lack of one solid unifying common thread to move parents forward.
Also, the media needs to take some responsibility for how autistic children are portrayed.
Since Sunday I have seen two TV programs where autism was featured. The first was the program where a new house gets built for a needy family. The needy family in this case was living in an old house in Maine and had one autistic children and a younger child the mum said appeared to be showing the same autistic tendencies, but the child who was I believe 3 could read and in fact read a story as the cameras rolled. Making the new house autism friendly was a factor.
The other program was Days of Our Lives(this show is a habit that I picked up at university when male/female alike would go to the common room to watch the soap), where a child has just be diagnosed with autism. They portray this child so far as being mean and nasty to other children and have coached this kid to look the part. You really have to see what I mean to understand but the portrayal actually fits Savage’s “brat” descriptor. On the show there’s little explanation just lots of angst displayed by the parents that this kid is doomed for life. (This same show a while back portrayed Toronto in a very bad light that I remember caught the media’s attention).
I also think that it’s common nature for those not having kids with a special need not to understand and not want to understand because it’s not their child. There needs to be a doubling of an effort made to educate those folks and dispel the rumors.
July 23, 2008, 10:31 amNancy:
Hi Sandy;
July 23, 2008, 11:13 amEntitled to their opinion because of free speech? When a public yahoo like Salvage is openly promoting misconceptions about Autism, that public yahoo should be taken to task. He holds a position in society, where his opinions are (I am sorry to say) have influence over his listeners. Parents who have children with any type of special needs deals with this type of people daily in their lives. I know I do, and yes even among some educators who seem to think LD children just have to try harder or the more common one - in my opinion she is not suited for post-secondary education. MaryT said it all - the anti-stupid pill!
Salvage should be fire. Who knows, it is now on all Canadian and American news stations, and just maybe the owners will have to fire him. His comments is not about free speech, but on the duties and responsibilities of a talk show host that should be promoting understanding and debating on all sides of any topic with respect and the hope that there is learning taking place, along side with understanding.
Sandy:
Nancy, My son is 43 so I have a lifetime of experience with these types of situations.
There are no doubts in my mind that what Savage said was ill informed, thoughtless and hurtful, but his comments were not hate or a threat of physical harm.
Where do we draw the line on free speech? What about Muslims who try to stop anyone from writing about their religion? What about the issue in Turkey where no one is allowed to write about the alleged Armenian genocide?
And, remember, we have vulgar or offensive radio jocks like Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh and others.
So, my recommendation is to speak up like we are doing here. However, my guess, like yours, is that Savage will likely end up being fired because he has upset a lot of listeners — and radio stations are businesses afterall and their advertisers don’t like losing customers.
(Revised slightly after publishing.)
July 23, 2008, 1:42 pm